Mix feelings

Count down: 10 days to go till 9 Jul

Your uncle Ryan called at 11 at night asking if you are here yet. He thought I am in the hospital waiting by now. I told him not yet. He has called so many times to checked on you.

And suddenly I felt this mix feeling of both happiness and sadness.
It felt like things are suddenly going to change because you are not going to be inside me soon. That this journey with you is coming to an end and that makes me feel so sad.
I sobbed so badly feeling like I'm losing you in a most strange way I ever felt. Could it be the change of hormone, I am not sure.

Your Pa hugged me so tight at the time I need to be comforted the most. He stroke my hair while his eyes are still staring at the TV and told me that he can't stand the song in the sitcom Will & Grace that is at the time playing.

This is such a great comfort for time like this isn't it :)
I'm feeling so much better now....(did I just sounded sarcastic?)